


Tony Stark is a Hot Mess

by PillowBacon



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Clint doesn't have a secret family tho, Depression??, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark Friendship, Kind of aou compliant, M/M, Most of the other stuff happens, Slow Build, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, depression tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PillowBacon/pseuds/PillowBacon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is an idiot with a heart, so he tries to make his mistakes better with a little duck tape and crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kind-of Prelogue

Tony bit his lip, watching Pepper as she stood across from him in the workshop. She’s got her arms at her sides, in the soft green dress that makes her look regal, her hair pulled back in a bun. She’s beautiful.

Tony took a deep breath.

“So this is it?” he mutters.

Pepper nods, watching him, like she’s afraid he’s going to break. “This isn’t the end of us, I just think-we don’t work as a couple Tony, I love you-so much-but we just don’t work.”

“Okay,” he feels his head nod without permission, “So, what’s, uh-what’s going to happen now?”

Pepper took a deep breath, “I’m going to, uh, move out, you know.” Tony watches her begin to play with her bracelets, “Get a place of my own, focus on work.”

“So this is it? we just end?” _Don’t leave. Don’t leave._

“No.” She gives him a sad smile, “Tony we don’t work as a couple but you are still one of my best friends. I don’t think I could get rid of you even if I wanted to.”

Pepper stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his forehead. Tony leans into the touch on instinct. Taking in the warmth, hyper aware this may be the last time he’d experience this.

“But right now, I think we need to end this, because we are just dragging out something that’s never going to work.” He feels her press another kiss into his hair, “I’m sorry, Tony.”

“Don’t be, you-you’ve gotten this far, trust me, that’s incredible on it’s own. Pep, you deserve this choice, I can’t force you to stay.”

Pepper smiles, “We didn’t work, but you’ll find someone Tony, I know you will.”

Tony doesn’t say what he’s thinking. How he’s thinking _no, no one will ever want me, I’m a fucking mess Pep. You’re the only one who could stand me and you’re leaving._ He just nods, “Whatever you say, Pepper.”

She gives him a sad smile and presses another kiss to his hair, “Bye Tony.”

He gives her a small wave as she leaves the workshop. Leaving him alone. There’s a long pause where nothing happens. He just sits there and stares at the wall, a Metallica poster glaring at him.

_Everyone’s leaving you._

He ignores the voice, taunting him as he grabs a wrench and carries on the work he had started before Pepper showed up.

_First it was Bruce._

Tony tears into the old Iron Man suit, useless now, doing his best to ignore the voice. To not give it what it wants.

_Then the Avengers._

Tony pushes past the wires with a little more force than necessary.

 _Rhodey even left you for them_.

He’s not focusing on his work, he lets his hands do what they know, tearing apart the suit.

 _Now Pepper’s leaving_.

He pulls out wires that he didn’t need to touch and he’s not trying to fix the suit he’s just destroying it.

 _You’re such a screw up_.

He rips away a piece of metal that’s not even in his way.

 _Steve hates you, he won’t even ask you to help him_.

Tony grabs a mallet and smashes it against the suit, watching the tiniest dent appear in the shoulder of his suit.

 _Why would he? you can’t get anything right_.

The mallet hits the face mask, scratching the gold paint leaving a long scuff mark across it.

 _Look what you did to JARVIS_.

The mallet falls from his hands and Tony freezes. Staring straight ahead. JARVIS.

“Sir?”

FRIDAY’s voice is gentle. Tony hates it.

“Sir, your heart rate has increased significantly.”

JARVIS would have pointed out that hitting the suit would do nothing.

Tony glares at the suit. His body moves without his permission, shoving the suit off the table so it landed on the floor with a loud crash.

It’s unfair of him, to blame FRIDAY, he made her. She hadn’t done anything.

He storms towards the computer desk. The holograms appear as soon as he sits down.

“You’re going to know what I’m about to do, so I’m going to tell you now.” he hissed, “I’m making you into a special system for the Avengers, you’ll be working for them soon-Fury’s been asking for an update anyway.”

“I understand, Sir.”

Tony hates FRIDAY for being so calm, for being the robot he made her. He brings up the base code. Something that would have taken forever to type up so he’s glad he saved it all those years ago. It’s under so many locks and keys and hidden in a downloaded cat video.

Even Ultron hadn’t touched it.

He works for hours. Furiously typing and double checking and scanning old videos for the voice and trying so hard that for a while he forgets that he’s alone.

Tony’s almost done, only a few more lines of code, then he’ll need to go over it and fix any kinks.

Something bumps into his arm and he seizes up, his head spinning to glare at his attacker.

Dum-e whirrs gently, pressing the glass of something against Tony’s arm. Tony feels his body relax, gently taking the not quite a beverage from Dum-e, “Thanks buddy.” he smiles.

Dum-e whirrs, a little less sad before he rolls off. Tony looks at the other bots, Butter Fingers is pushing tools off a work table before replacing them carefully on the table. You is rolling in circles and then reversing before rolling in circles all over again.

His bots wouldn’t leave him. His bots couldn’t leave him (that’s a lie, he’d let them go if he had any kind of incentive they didn’t want to stay with him anymore).

Tony sighed, typing the last lines of the code. There’s a pause where he debates what he’s going to do. Switch out FRIDAY for this new A.I.

He decides it’s for the best, he hears FRIDAY and sees everyone that hates him.

“I’m sorry FRIDAY.” He mutters.

There’s no reply so he uploads the new A.I. A long moment passes where nothing happens.

“Uploading code : <ANGIE>” hums a mechanical voice, the same one used for Google Translate, admittedly. “Code : <ANGIE> Uploaded, running code.”

Tony takes a deep breath, leaning forwards in his chair.

“Stark, you are aware you’ve been awake for more than 74 hours at this point?”

It’s the grin in her voice, even in a robot it’s a tell-tale sign that it’s Angie’s voice. Tony feels himself breath again and he grins.

Aunt Angie wasn’t Jarvis. Aunt Angie had never been Jarvis. She’d cared for Tony but it was different. Angie had held a finger to her lips when she snuck him an extra cookie and would giggle into her coffee with Tony when they played jokes on Aunt Peggy.

Aunt Angie was safe.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “Okay, yeah, I’ve just got to-uh, yeah.”

There’s a pause as he double checks an algorithm he made ages ago in case Steve ever did ask for his help. “Run a, uh, scan, search for a-a concentrate of vibranium that would match the measurements we’ve already got.”

“Beginning scan,” ANGIE’s voice is clear and calm, “I’ll wake you up when the scan is complete or there’s any kind of complication.”

Tony kind of wants to cry at the sound of her voice. It feels like when he first made JARVIS and he’d sobbed for a good hour and a half.

“Got it, thanks-” Tony fights back his yawn but it’s no use and he feels like a little kid again.

“Good night Stark,”

Tony hummed, collapsing on the sofa. Too lazy to even fathom going upstairs.

 _Fuck upstairs_. Is his last thought as the light dim and he’s unconscious in seconds.


	2. Offers

Tony doesn’t want to get up. Firstly, because he’s way too old to be sleeping on couches these days and he can feel the pain in his back already. He remembers building ANGIE but he’s not sure if it’s real, the amount of times he’s built something and it turned out to be a dream is weird. Worse, he doesn’t know how he feels if he really did make her.

“I know you’re awake.”

Tony huffs. Yup, definitely made her, definitely like her.

Tony sits up, grimacing at the pain in his back. He stretches and his spine pops. Probably not the proper remedy for the pain but it’s helped the pain somewhat.

“We got a hit on the scan?” he mutters.

“Yeah, after crossing off mines in Wakanda it was easy. Your target is in Canada.”

Tony blinks, “Canada?”

“Yes, that’s what I just said, I’m also scheduling an appointment with your doctor to check your hearing.”

Tony glares at the ground, “Why do all of my A.I.’s pick on me?” he muttered, “Why do I keep making A.I.’s that pick on me?”

“Ah, the questions of the universe.”

Tony rolls his eyes, pushing himself off the sofa, he runs his hand along Dum-E’s arm for a moment before he heads for the elevator, “What’s on the menu for breakfast?”

“It’s 8 pm, Boss.”

Tony stares out the glass walls for a long moment, staring at how it's fucking night outside, before muttering, “Shit,”

He pulls out spaghetti leftovers from the other night. Tony can’t cook much but pasta’s easy, Pepper likes his pasta-

Oh, right.

He swallows his last bite of pasta. Setting it aside and heading for the coffee pot. It’s already made so he pours himself a mug. Everyone says he puts in too much sugar, he’s probably going to kill himself.

Pepper says it mainly, grinning before kissing his cheek. Tony closes his eyes and focuses on stirring his coffee enough that he doesn’t get the syrup at the bottom.

“ANGIE, prep a suit, I’m going to Canada.” he orders, chugging his coffee

“Do you want to alert Captain Rogers, first?”

Tony puts his mug in the dishwasher, thinking it over. _Steve doesn’t want your help anyway. If you told him, he'd just get_ mad. Tony shook his head, “No. Thanks, ANGIE.”

He doesn’t realize until he puts it on but, he’s missed the suit.

 

* * *

 

There’s a kind of feeling James gets when he’s fighting. He falls into the motions. His brain in a flurry of how many attackers, how many bullets, the right points to hit. He barely registers the red and gold….thing fly past, taking several Hydra agents with him.

James glares at a Hydra agent whose fist is mere inches from James’ throat, a knife pointed at the ready.

James grabs the agents wrist, twists, and pulls. The Agent howls in pain and James fires one shot above his ear.

The agent drops to the ground and James turns. The thing is headed for him, the agents long gone. He readies himself to fight the thing when it stops. Too far away for James to reach but close enough that he can tell it’s a suit.

“So you’re James Barnes?” the voice is tinny, mechanical.

James pauses before nodding, “I-I think so.”

The suit begins to shift and a second later a man is stepping out. He doesn’t even twitch at the sight of blood everywhere, smeared on James. He’s familiar. In a bad way.

“Man, you need a shower.”

James doesn’t say anything, his finger still on the trigger of the stolen handgun. He freezes suddenly, a switch flicking in his head as he suddenly recognizes the man.

Stark.

Howard and Maria Stark.

Mission. Complete.

“I killed you-”

“Parents, yeah, I know.” mutters Stark and James is on guard, the idea of the man killing him not unthinkable. “I’m not gonna kill you over it, God, I’ve killed kids parents before, it’d be kind of hypocritical of me to kill you yeah?”

“Doesn’t mean you won’t try.” hums James, stopping down to pull guns from the dead Hydra agent. “Why are you here?”

“Came to talk to you.” Stark mutters, stepping back in his suit, “An offer.”

“You wanna offer me somethin’?” Stark’s most likely going to kill James, fire at him with the suit.

“Yeah.” Stark fires a blast down the hallway and James hear three loud screams and seven bodies hitting the ground. Not dead, just hurt. “Not, like, a job or anything but I know what it’s like trying to figure out what's real and what's not real, so-shit! hey you’re going to scuff the paint job.”

Stark punches an agent in the face, the agent falls unconscious with the single hit.

James has one agent in a headlock.

“So, if you need, a place to crash or anything-” Stark punches the agent James has in a headlock and James drops him to the ground, “You know, I’ve got a couple hundred around the world.”

“How do I know you won’t rat me out?”

“You don’t.” grunted Stark, “One second,” he fires two blasts from his hands and a good twelve agents fall.

James fires three shots from his stolen handgun down the hallway. The two of them step over the bodies and head down the hallway.

“You don’t have to, I mean, it’s just an offer. If you need help or anything just call, I’m pretty bored these days anyway.”

“Aren’t you avenging or something?” James headed down the empty hallway he remembered, it would lead them through to a few more rooms he’d have to check.

“ANGIE, scan for life forms that we haven’t beaten up yet.” hummed Stark, “And no, that ended a little while ago, get up to date, man.”

James raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, there’s nothing down there except, like, three guys, you good?” asked Stark, “I’ve got a meeting I’m late to.”

James nodded, watching Stark turn to leave.

“Just, if you need a place to recharge, or an update on your limp arm there. I’m your guy.”

James watched Stark as his jet boots, _FUCKING JET BOOTS_ screeches something inside him, start and he flies off. James pauses before he carries on down the hallway.

He’s not sure how he feels about Stark. He’s not sure about anything but he’s really not sure about Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of a filler chapter I guess? I hope you guys like it.


	3. Rhodey's the best human being

“Stark,”

Tony blinks, looking up from the array of bottles in front of him. He pauses for a minute as his brain goes fuzzy, “Hm?”

“Rhodey’s here for you,” informs ANGIE, “Should I let him in?”

Tony shrugs, “Whadda I care?”

There’s no answer but a few minutes later he can hear the sound of Rhodey’s shoes against the floor. With no real decision made Tony flops onto his side and turns to see how close Rhodey is to finding him.

His nose is three inches away from Rhodey’s blue nike’s.

“Hey baby cakes,” greets Tony with a grin, “How’s it goin?”

There’s a pause where Rhodey looks torn between hugging Tony and hitting him. Instead, Rhodey sits Tony up and sits with him, taking the bottle of Scotch from next to Tony.

“May I?”

Tony grins, “Knock yourself out.”

Rhodey takes a deep breath before he takes a long chug straight from the bottle, before setting it on the ground with a clink. “How drunk are you?”

Tony thought for a second before shrugging, “Not quite Drunk Science drunk yet, but I’m getting there.”

“Let me catch up, okay? asshole.”

“Hey, you showed up late-” giggles Tony, dropping his head on Rhodey’s shoulder, “You’re so fucking boney, Jesus.”

Rhodey snorts, “Fuck you, man.”

Tony grins, taking another bottle of whatever and taking a long minimum seventy three second chug from it.

“What’s eating you Cupcake?” mutters Rhodey.

Tony feels his shoulders shrug, barely aware of the movement. “I just-” he inhales, “I think I fucked up, again.”

“Nah, you didn’t.” hums Rhodey, “Building Ultron, that was a fuck up, unless you’ve created another mass murdering robot, I think you’re fine.”

“I didn’t make one but I befriended a brainwashed ex-soviet assassin cyborg, is that still bad?” Tony mutters sadly, curling up against Rhodey who just moves to accommodate his friend.

Rhodey makes a weird noise, like he’s thinking it over, taking another chug of the scotch, “Are you doing the right thing?”

Tony shrugs yet again, “I dunno, I think I’m doing the right thing but I usually fuck that up.”

“Hey, you’re one of the best people in the fucking world, go it?” Rhodey’s glaring at Tony, jabbing him in the chest with a finger, “You stopped building weapons and still insured every one of your employees got a well paying job. You risked your fucking life to save New York, you fucked up with Ultron, I’ll give you that but you did your best to fix the problem right? if you think you’re doing the right thing, I’ll back you, man.”

Tony’s unaware that he’s actually tearing up a little bit, “You’re the best kind of human being, ShortCake.”

Rhodey’s laugh is quiet and Tony felt himself curl up against Rhodey. Tony took Rhodey’s scotch and finished off the bottle, handing Rhodey a new bottle of something.

There’s a good twenty minutes with nothing but quiet. Tony curled up against Rhodey who’s just sipping from his bottle, trying to figure out what kind of beverage it was.

Tony knows he’s opening his mouth, with no idea what he’s about to say so he just lets it happen. “I fucked up with Pepper.”

Rhodey’s nod is not helpful, “Yeah, I get how you’d feel like you did but you really didn’t.”

Groaning, Tony pushes himself up, “Rhodey, I fucked up. Okay? I had the best thing in the world and I fucked it up.”

“I’m pretty sure it was a mutual fuck up,” Rhodey’s arm wraps itself around Tony in a half hug, “You and Pepper just weren’t right. She’s just human, Tony she wasn’t made for all this superhero stuff.”

Tony’s head nods and he’s running his hands over his face, “I feel gross, I need a shower, Rhodey.”

“You’d drown, buddy, not happening. Just sit, for a while, okay?” Rhodey grins at Tony, “We’ll order chinese, watch Parks and Rec, you love Andy.”

“I do love Andy.” Tony nods in agreement, nearly smiling.

Rhodey’s smile is big and it helps, knowing Rhodey’s still there by Tony’s side. “Or we can watch Jimmy Fallon?”

Tony’s gasp is like a child's and he’s grinning, “I _love_ Jimmy Fallon!”

“I know you love Jimmy Fallon, that’s why I suggested it, you nerd.” Rhodey’s laughing, taking the bottle of alcohol from Tony, “You wanna switch to juice or something?”

Tony frowns at the bottle before nodding, “Fruit punch, asshole, or that shit mineral water Pepper keeps filling the fridge with.”

“Sure thing, man, I’ll meet you in the living room.” Rhodey sets the bottle on the counter and helps Tony to his feet, “You good?”

Tony nods, “Yeah, I’m fine, ANGIE, cue up every episode of Jimmy Fallon ever.”

“That’s a lot of episodes, babe.” hums Rhodey heading to the kitchen.

Tony grins, “I know, we are gonna watch Jimmy Fallon for the next week, minimum.”

Rhodey just nods and hands Tony a glass of fruit punch, sitting next to Tony so they’re curled up on the couch and Jimmy Fallon’s playing on the tv that’s bigger that Rhodey.

“You gonna be good Tony?”

“Mmmhmm,” Tony’s face is half buried in Rhodey’s stomach, not that it’s weird anymore to be in compromising positions, Tony was weirdly touchy in college.

“Alright,” Rhodey’s fingers are running through Tony’s hair and he’s smiling, “I’ll make smoothie’s in the morning okay?”

“Strawberry and banana?” mutters Tony, looking up from the tv.

Rhodey nods, “Strawberry and banana.” He agrees.

Tony’s asleep in less than an hour, curled up on Rhodey’s lap and feeling a hell of a load better than yesterday.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've taken so long to update, holy shit. So much shit went down and I've only just had a chance to write I'm so freaking sorry. Anyway, moving on from my empty excuses, I love Rhodey and Tony's friendship, like honestly, just A+ Marvel. Anyway, I'm going to try to upload more, I'm already starting on the next chapter so hopefully that'll be up soon. Sorry for the short chapter.


	4. Just bring in the dead kid, who gives a shit anymore right?

It’s weeks later when they show up. Rhodey’s back with the Avengers and Tony’s been on an inventing binge for the past two weeks (He’s finally managed to get Steve’s magnets for his shield to work without giving Steve those micro fractures and bruises).

Tony’s just getting himself a new cup of coffee as he hasn’t actually slept for the past three and a half days.

“Stark, you have visitors.” ANGIE reports.

Tony blinks, looking up from his coffee, “What?”

“Jesus Christ,” mutters ANGIE, “Sir, you have two visitors, one seems injured.”

Tony frowns, already setting down his mug and heading for the door, “It’s three in the fucking morning-” he grumbles, not that he really cares, weirder things have happened at weirder times.

The doors open automatically and Tony freezes. James-Bucky whatever the fuck his name is, is standing there, holding up someone else. A white puff-ball of hair leaning heavily against Barnes.

“Holy fucking shit,” Tony helps, wrapping one of Pietro’s arms around his shoulders, “Come on, I’ve got a Med-Bay just to the left.”

It’s not a big Med-Bay, nothing compared to the one at Avengers Tower or the new Avengers building.

It’s only got three beds, it’s only really there because Tony cuts and burns himself so often during his experiments. It makes Pepper feel better to have the small Med-Bay, for just in case. Also, Tony likes to pretend he’s Bones from Star Trek when he’s really drunk.

They lay Pietro on a bed and Tony’s not an actual Doctor but he took courses, he worked with people who put themselves in dangerous situations daily he had to know how to patch up a cut.

“ANGIE, scan him.”

He makes Barnes stand back and ANGIE runs her scans. “Three abrasions to his right arm, his left humerus is fractured and his left fibula is broken. He has a gunshot wound to his hip.”

“Got it, call in-” Barnes shakes his head at Tony. “You wanna set his fucking leg, asshole?”

Barnes glares at Tony and Tony stares back at him. Instead of arguing however, Tony grabs what he needs and has Barnes help him remove Pietro’s hoodie. He manages to remove the bullet (he’s so thankful it’s not close to any arteries or anything important) and he has Barnes stitch up the wound while Tony pumps Pietro with anesthesia.

Afterwards he works on setting  and casting Pietro’s leg properly and then it’s just minor things that Tony could do in his sleep (not that any of this was particularly difficult but he was patching up a dead kid who wasn’t so dead).

When they’re finished Tony sighs, taking off his gloves because he’s not a fucking idiot and glaring at Barnes who’s sat across the bed from him.

“What the fuck, dude?”

Barnes sighs, “I’m sorry, you-you said it was a safe place and he was bleeding and you were close.”

“I don’t mean why are you here I mean, _what the fuck_ this kid _died,_ Barnes, he’s supposed to be dead.” explains Tony slowly, it’s setting in how tired he is.

Barnes shrugs, “So am I.”

Tony feels himself nod, it’s not exactly wrong but it doesn’t clarify. They’d put Pietro in cryo and he’d been put somewhere safe. At least, that’s what he’d been told. Wanda hadn’t let him near Pietro’s body.

He hadn’t tried to argue with her.

“Jesus Christ,” he grumbles, “Where did you find him?”

“Hydra base, medical room.” Barnes reports, like he’s in a mission debrief. “Half dead, helped me get out.”

“Outgunned?”

Barnes nods grouchily, crossing his arms.

Tony’s sigh is loud and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose, something Jarvis had done when Tony was a kid and Howard had said something particularly stupid.

“I need-I need to sleep, and shower, and coffee.” he mutters, “ANGIE, alert me when Maximoff wakes up, Barnes, you’re free to stay, or leave or eat all my doughnuts and steal all my left shoes at this point, I don’t care at all.”

“Why would I steal your left shoes?” snorts Barnes.

“Why do you show up on my doorstep with a half-dead teenager?!” asked Tony, “Nothing makes sense here, get used to it.”

Barnes says nothing, just watching Tony storm towards the doors. “There’s empty guest bedrooms, you need anything ask ANGIE, I’m going to have a shower, ANGIE, save all my previous projects we’ve been working on.”

For the first time in a long time Tony sends himself to bed, he’s asleep within seconds after his head hits the pillow. Hoping to god the ex-assassin doesn’t kill him in his sleep.

* * *

 

“Okay if you don’t wake up, I’m sending Dum-E in and I’m just gonna let him go nuts.” threatens ANGIE, who’s primary directive is to protect Tony so threatening him seems like a problem in her code. “Oh, you’re awake, finally. The tests finished, it is in fact, Mr Maximoff in the Med-Bay who  has woken up, Mr Barnes is with him, currently explaining the situation.”

Tony’s head flops back onto the pillow as he groans and closes his eyes, “I don’t wanna get up and deal with life.”

“That’s unfortunate,” hums ANGIE, “You should shower, you probably smell.”

“You should shower,” grumbled Tony.

“I can’t shower sir, I have no physical form.”

Tony doesn’t answer her, instead kicking off the blankets and grouchily stumbling into the bathroom to shower. “Alert me if either of them are leaving or anything, okay?”

“Yes, Boss.”

His shower is quick and the water is hotter than he thought it would be so now he’s got a bright red patch of skin on his shoulder. Within minutes he’s out of the shower and dressed in an old band t-shirt Rhodey got him years ago, with the name faded on it and a pair of jeans.

He’s still barely awake as he makes his coffee and heads for the Med-Bay.

Barnes is sat on a chair next to Pietro, who tries to sit up when Tony walks in but winces and lays back down.

“My sister-”

“Is fine and living with the Avengers right now, I’ll take you to her in a couple days, you need to heal.” says Tony, watching Pietro closely. “I don’t think it would end well if I showed up with a half dead Maximoff twin.”

Pietro frowns but nods in understanding, laying back on the bed.

“How’s the pain, you need any more drugs?” asks Tony, sitting himself on the other bed and sipping his coffee.

Pietro shakes his head, “No. I am good.”

Tony nods, turning on Barnes, “You need me to look at your arm or anything? You look like shit.”

“I’m fine.” mutters Barnes.

“Okay, then shower, that chair is, like, four hundred bucks on it’s own and that’s one of the cheap ones. I’m not going to have you stink up my furniture. Speedy, here, should sleep anyway.” Tony sighs. “Ugh, you’ve been here for thirteen hours and I already have a huge headache.”

Pietro and Barnes say nothing while Tony rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands, “Steve’s going to punch me in the face when I tell him.”

“Do not tell him, surprise him.” grins Pietro, “Surprise!” he adds with a little wave of his hands, a slight giggle at the end.

Tony chuckles, “You’re really drugged up right now aren’t you? You gave him more drugs didn't you?”

Barnes says nothing but Tony knows he did it.

“That’s not how things work, man, I’ll get my ass kicked.” explains Tony, turning back to Pietro.

“Why? you’re not an Avenger anymore, you don’t have to tell them anything.” reminds Barnes.

Tony rolls his eyes, “I’m kind of, trying to stay on their good side right now.”

Barnes shrugs, “Whatever,”

“Great, I’ve got a drugged up asshole and an asshole in my house for the next week. Kill me now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS, I might even post a third, idk, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, I like the beginning, but I have mixed feelings about the ending. IDEK at this point, I'm just tired. I write best when I'm tired though. I might edit this in the morning though. Anyway, thanks for reading.


	5. Some emotional bullshit

Everything hurt. Pietro took a deep breath. Breathing hurt, thinking hurt, everything fucking hurt. Pietro breathes heavily, feeling pain in places he didn’t know could actually feel pain. There’s a long time before he attempts opening his eyes. It feels like forever before he’s able to accomplish the action.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Pietro groans, looking around the room. It’s made of greys and silvers and it feels familiar. There’s a man sat next to his bed, arms crossed. he has long hair that’s falling in his face. Winter. Pietro remembers seeing him once, ages ago when he and Wanda had first volunteered for Hydra. Then, a while ago, he was in a room and Winter came in an-

“Hey, Maximoff,” someone snaps their fingers in front of his face and Pietro blinks, his eyes focusing.

“Stark?” Pietro’s voice is scratchy and hoarse. It hurts to speak. It hurts to breath. It hurts to think.

Stark nods, “How are you feeling?”

Pietro says nothing, watching the two men, “Where am I?”

“Malibu,” informs Stark, “My place, Barnes brought you down here.”

Pietro feels his jaw tighten and he knows he’s useless to fight against either of them, let alone both. “Where’s Wanda?”

“She’s with the Avengers, part of their team now. Don’t worry, I’m just waiting until ANGIE clears you to go on a plane and then I’ll take you to her.” hums Stark, Pietro’s still worrying. “Now, how do you feel?”

Pietro frowns at the cast around his leg, “Shit.” he mutters.

Stark nods, “Got it, you hungry?”

Pietro’s stomach answers with a loud grumbling noise. Stark grins, turning to Winter, “How do you guys feel about chicken soup?”

Chicken soup is good. Stark orders it from somewhere, it’s warm and somehow manages to be greasy, like all other american foods Pietro’s tried, which hasn’t been often but has the same theme of grease. It’s better than the shit he’s been fed for most of his life.

Stark and Winter, at some point, set up camp around Pietro’s bed. Stark with a tablet propped against Pietro’s cast and Winter, who only moved if necessary, sits with his arms crossed, watching the two closely. Winter reminds Pietro of guard dogs some of the Hydra agents had when they escorted him and Wanda to different Hydra bases.

“How do you feel about lasers?” grins Stark, tapping something on his tablet.

Winter glares at him and Stark mutters, “Buzzkill,” before going back to his tablet.

Pietro leans to see what he’s doing and stops, a sharp pain shooting up his right side.

“Careful, you were shot.” explains Stark, “It’s going to hurt. Getting shot does that.”

“I was shot? again?” Pietro groans, “Why do people like to shoot me?”

Stark shrugs, “Could be your personality,”

Pietro rolls his eyes, “You are not funny.”

“I’m fucking hilarious.” grins Stark, “What were you getting up for?”

“I was not comfortable,” Pietro lies as Stark helps him into a more comfortable position.

It was Stark's turn to roll his eyes, “Ask for help if you need to move, you have accelerated metabolism and you’re all around just fast so your healing is boosted, eat a lot, sleep a lot and you should be good to go see your sister on saturday, four days from now. If you want we can call her.”

Pietro’s first instinct is to say he wants to call her, she’ll be by his bedside in seconds and he’ll have his sister back. He’s stopped by the realisation that she’s probably training for her new life as an Avenger, a hero. He’d be sleeping the entire time she was here and it would be a waste of precious training that could save her life.

“I will surprise her.” grins Pietro.

Stark nods, “Thank god, Steve would have flipped his shit if he found out I’m harbouring dead teenagers and,” he glanced at Winter, “what do I even call you? ex-soviet assassin 90 year old grandpa is a mouthful.”

Winter’s eyebrow arches oddly as he thinks is over, “James.”

Stark nods, “and James.”

Pietro smiles, leaning back against the mountain of pillows behind his back. Stark takes his seat at the foot of Pietro’s bed and resumes whatever he was doing on his tablet while Winter returns to glaring at the wall.

He shifts slightly, careful of his side until he’s in a comfortable position to sleep. It’s only a few minutes before he begins to doze off, his breath evening-

“I’m sorry.” It’s Winter, his voice is much gruffer than Stark’s, an easy difference between the two.

“Hm?” and Stark is forever clueless, another easy difference between them. “What?”

Pietro’s careful not to move or change his breathing. Somewhat for his side, somewhat to kill his curiosity.

“I’m sorry, about your parents-” starts Winter.

“I know you’re sorry, and it’s honestly-”

“I killed them.”

Pietro forces himself to keep breathing. Stark was staying with the murderer of his parents as well. What an odd coincidence.

Stark says nothing for a long minute, “I know that, knowing that doesn’t change shit. My parents are dead, they’ve been dead for more than twenty years, I’ve come to peace with their death.”

Pietro wishes he could come to peace with his parents death.

“Remember how I told you I’d be a hypocrite for hating you?” asks Stark, slowly.

Pietro assumes Winter nods.

“I killed Pietro’s parents.” The statement is a punch to the gut, a confirmation of every reason Pietro ever hated Stark. “One of my missiles hit his home and killed his parents, along with a lot of other people. It nearly killed Pietro and his sister Wanda. They teamed up with Ultron because they hated me that much. I don’t blame them in the least, I deserve it. You deserve a chance to get to a good place and then I’ll hate you, okay? I promise.”

There’s a long pause, “What’s a good place?” asks Winter.

Starks reaction is immediate. “Oh, God, I think my heart physically broke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another chapter, just some emotional shit because I'm an emotional person. If you like it, you know, tell me what you thought, If you didn't like it, hey, tell me how I could make it better? Also, all of you, go read The Martian, right now. Right fucking now. I've been reading nonstop for two days and every single word is a blessing.


	6. Everyone's an asshole

Pietro is an asshole. Barnes is an asshole. To sum it up simply, everyone Tony knows is a fucking asshole and Tony hates every one of them.

There’s a pause where Tony stares between Barnes and Pietro who are both staring at the tv. On the floor. Shattered.

“You know, I am pretty sure Barnes is to blame for this.” mutters Pietro.

Barnes levels Pietro with a glare and Pietro just shrugs, “You have not seen my sister glare, that’s scary.”

“Are either of you going to explain how my television is currently smashed to shit.” snaps Tony, glaring at them both angrily, “That tv is more than your fucking lives, you pieces of-oh my god, I can’t believe you broke my television. You guys are such assholes.”

Neither of them say anything as Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, “You know what, it’s fine. I’ll just set up a holographic television, then you assholes can’t break it. Pietro, sit your ass down, you have a broken fucking leg. You fuckwad.”

Pietro sits down on the sofa and Tony sighs, “I’m going to have the bots tidy this mess up and then Pietro, I’m taking you to the Avengers, so, maybe get dressed-shower or something, I don’t know. make yourself smell not bad, okay?”

Pietro nods and hobbles over to go do whatever it is he does. There’s a pause where Tony just stares at his busted ass television.

“I’m sorry about your tv.” mutters Barnes.

“It’s fine, it would break at some point, now I get to yell at you brats about it, so I mean that’s pretty great.” grins Tony.

Barnes nods, frowning at the smashed tv, “Are you going to tell Steve?”

“Tell Steve that you broke my tv?”

“Tell Steve that I’m here?” clarifies Barnes.

Tony shakes his head, “Not unless you want me too.”

Barnes nods in understanding, “Thank you, Stark.”

“No problem, I’m used to hiding from Rogers.” mutters Tony, “I do it a lot.”

There’s another pause before Tony moves, “ANGIE, send the bots up to tidy this mess, I need to get dressed.”

“You don’t usually dress like that?”

Tony frowns at Barnes and shakes his head, “Not in fucking public, I don’t.”

Barnes says nothing and Tony goes to his room to change into a suit. Fixing his hair and making sure he looks like he’s had some sleep since Pietro and Barnes moved in (he hasn’t actually slept that bad, having an ex-assassin around really helps lull Tony into a weird ass sense of security).

He has to wait for a half hour after he’s finished getting ready for Pietro. The television’s tidied up, although he knows Barnes helped tidy up the pieces, judging by the cut on his flesh hand.

When Pietro finally bothers to show up they give Barnes over dramatic farewells and proclamations of love while they climb into the car to head to the airport (unfortunately there’s no airplane at the Malibu estate).

The drives pretty quiet, as Pietro is still in a state of hatred at Tony and Tony doesn’t really blame him. The drives short and they both climb into the plane, Tony helping Pietro up the stairs until he decided that it was taking way too fucking long and throwing Pietro over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

“I can walk up stairs, you know.” snaps Pietro, “I am not baby.”

“Kid, compared to me, you might as well be.” It’s the only time Tony will ever imply that he’s old.

He dumps Pietro into a seat and dumps his one backpack of clothes next to him. They buckle in and wait for the plane to take off. It’s not long until they reach Avengers HQ so Tony digs out his phone and dials Steve.

“Hey Stark.”

“Hey!” Tony grins, “You figured out caller ID, I’m proud of you Steven, really.”

“What do you want Stark?”

“I’m bringing a gift, mainly for your resident witch, I’ll be there in about two hours.” explains Tony, between Barnes and Pietro he’d never actually gotten a break to be able to call Steve and explain the situation, and whenever there was a chance, Tony was usually sleeping or inventing.

There’s a sigh on the other end of the line, “What kind of gift Tony?”

“A good, gift, kind of.” mutters Tony, digging through a bowl of candy on the table between him and Pietro, he hands the kid a bag of twizzlers but takes the Swedish Berries for himself, “Bit of an asshole if I’m honest.”

“Please tell me you didn’t get Wanda a pet,” grumbles Steve, “I might actually kill you.”

“Nah, what kind of pet do you think she’d like? I’m thinking ferret.” hums Tony, Pietro mouths ‘rabbit’.

“I don’t-Just call me before you land, okay?” mutters Steve, “I’ve got to go through drills with the team.”

“Got it.” Tony doesn’t spare another word and hangs up. Pietro’s grinning slightly, looking hyperactive and tapping his fingers so quickly against the table they’re a blur.

“You good there Speedy Gonzales?” grins Tony, watching Pietro physically buzz.

“Better than good.” smiles Pietro, ripping into the bag of twizzlers. “I am incredible,”

Tony laughs as multiple twizzlers fell on the floor on the way to Pietro’s mouth. Pietro doesn’t notice, shoving twizzlers into his mouth by the fist full and staring out the window.

Tony grins and turns to his phone, he’s working on designs for Barnes’ new arm whenever Barnes actually lets him get a hold of it. So far it’s just been patch up jobs and a lot of duck tape.

“Okay, lasers, yes or no?” he asks Pietro.

“What kind of lasers?”

“Like ‘pew pew’ lasers.”

“Yes.”

Tony proceeds to add lasers and makes Barnes’ middle finger it’s own pocket knife, and his ring finger a usb. Pietro pitching in random ideas that include a machine gun and an icing knife for cake baking.

In all honesty Barnes would punch them if they ever showed him the design but every time Tony thinks about it he can’t help practically dying at the thought of Barnes wielding an icing knife on his enemies.

When ANGIE tells them there’s too much and at this point Barnes wouldn’t even be able to walk with that arm much less use it the game ends and Tony goes back to actually designing a proper arm that will work for him with nothing crazy fancy (he keeps the usb finger).

It goes quiet after a while and Tony’s silently panicking. He’s seen the team since he left but not much. Not enough to be comfortable knowing they really don’t care about him anymore, if they did to begin with.

“Thank you,”

Tony looks at Pietro and frowns, “What?”

“Thank you, for bringing me back to my sister.”

Tony gave Pietro a smile, “No problem, man. It’s secretly a way to get you to stop breaking my shit.”

The rest of the plane ride is quiet, the only noise was an occasional sound effect from Tony’s cell phone during his game that he was barely focussed on.

“We will be landing in fifteen minutes,” announces ANGIE.

“Thanks,” Tony dials Steve’s number and sighs.

“That was fast,” says Steve.

“Really? felt like forever, we’re fifteen minutes to landing,” explains Tony. He feels jittery, the tell-tale gorilla-sitting-on-his-chest feeling that tells him he’s panicking.

He can practically hear Steve nod, “See you in fifteen minutes then.”

Tony hangs up and turns to Pietro, “Don’t tell them Barnes is in Malibu, or staying with me-You don’t even know who Barnes is, got it?”

“Why do I not know?”

“Because Barnes and Rogers have a history that Barnes can barely remember, and Rogers will flip his fucking lid if he finds out Barnes is at my place.” explains Tony, “Buckle up, landing here is crap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another two chapters, in like ten minutes. I'm not that fast of a writer I've just been editing the chapters and adding in the last one cause it felt weird leaping into this one. I'm still deciding what exactly will happen in the next one other than the big reunion with Pietro and Wanda (that's not even a spoiler at this point guys). Anyway, hope you like it.


	7. Reunions and crying

“Did you bring Wanda a pet?”

Tony groans, glaring at Steve’s stupid aesthetically perfect face as he hops the last three steps on the plane stairs, “No, I didn’t bring her a fuckin-I already explained this Steve.”

“Uh-huh,” mutters Steve, “Then what the hell did you get her? and is it deadly?”

“Steve, your faith in me is killing me, seriously, I’m not this cool.” Tony deadpans, “It’s a good present, I promise.”

Steve’s nod is resigned, like he’s prepared for the worst and turns, “Okay, Wanda, come see what the present is.”

Wanda’s frowning at him as she strode into the room, the Avengers following closely. Tony gave a tight smile to Natasha and Clint who both returned the smile. They looked good, healthy, Clint has his arm around Natasha’s shoulders and a big grin on his face. Did they get together?

Tony grins and turns to the plane, he understands Pietro’s earlier giddiness now that he’s face to face with Wanda. “Dude! come on, what’s taking so long?!” A crutch flew out of the door and hit the cement by Tony, “Don’t you need that to walk, asshole?”

The Avengers are watching him curiously as he heads up the stairs. Pietro’s standing by the door, staring at the stairs like if he walks down them they’ll rise and drag him to hell.

“What if she thinks I am not me?” asks Pietro softly, holding onto the crutch he didn’t throw at Tony.

“I already ran tests that prove you’re you, don’t worry, I’ve got miles of scientific proof to back me on this.” grins Tony, “She’ll know.”

Pietro nods and Tony helps him out to the stairs.

There’s a moment of silence where Pietro grins at Wanda. Tony watches the Avengers closely as they each react. Steve stiffens and Clint’s entire body seizes up, Natasha’s shoulders do that thing they do when she’s unsure. Vision is watching curiously while Rhodey and Sam both grin at Wanda who’s staring at Pietro with wide eyes.

Within seconds she’s scaled the stairs and is hugging Pietro, sobbing hysterically. Tony moves out of the way, grinning at Steve as he strides down the stairs.

“I told you it was a good present.”

Steve’s frowning at him, “Is that really-”

“Yeah,” Tony crosses his arms, “He was found in a Hydra base, I’ve already ran the tests, it’s him.”

“How is that possible?” mutters Clint, “I watched the kid die.”

Tony feels his shoulders shrug and he grins, “Who gives a fuck, the kids alive, right? just be happy for him, for ten minutes before the interrogation, okay?”

Rhodey grins at Tony, “Is this what you were drunkenly crying about?”

“No, although that showed up with him, it was wild.” Tony says cryptically, “I’ve actually gotta head back and make sure he hasn’t burned my house down, they smashed my tv today.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Pietro grins as he and Wanda stumble down the stairs in an odd jumble, both refusing to let go of the other.

“I don’t care who’s fault it is, that television was fucking awesome,” mutters Tony.

“You were drunkenly crying?” grins Natasha.

“Why is that all you take from the conversation?” Tony laughs, watching Natasha as she moves in for a quick hug, “Seriously? why do you bully me like this?”

Natasha’s smile is warm, “Because I can.”

Pietro grins at Clint, still hugging a crying Wanda. “Bet you did not see that one coming, huh asshole?”

“I hate you,” Clint’s grinning, “How in the fuck-”

Pietro’s shrug is innocent and he’s much more focused on petting Wanda’s hair. “Don’t care.”

It’s obvious Wanda doesn’t care either as she sobs into Pietro’s hoodie (which Tony realises Pietro totally stole, the little fucking shithead. That was Barnes’ hoodie).

Steve frowns, turning to Tony. “Can we talk?”

Tony frowns and nods and they walk out of the hangar and a little out of the hallway. Tony can feel his stomach twist and turn and the gorilla’s on his chest again.

“How’d you find him?” asks Steve.

Tony sighs, great. The question he didn’t want to answer. The question Angie had told him to find an answer for. THE QUESTION HE HADN’T FOUND THE ANSWER FOR BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING IDIOT.

“I didn’t,” mutters Tony, “He found me. He found Pepper, actually. He’d gotten out, found a Stark building and Pepper brought him to me.”

Steve is going to hate him when he finds out but Bucky asked for this. Bucky needed this. Tony could let Steve hate him.

“I thought he hated you.” reminds Steve.

“The kid was half dead, we’ve all done stupid shit to stay alive.”

Steve nods, and Tony can feel his inner Pepper screaming that he should’ve come up with something earlier. But he was a good liar. He lied for a living. Tony took a moment to consider acting as a new career choice.

He followed Steve back to the team. Praying that the panic wasn’t showing on his face. Instead grinning at Natasha who moved towards them instantly.

Tony smiles at Pietro who looks like his life has been complete and Rhodey who’s giving Tony his ‘I’m proud of you man’ face.

It’s nice, being around the team again. Natasha leaning against Tony. While Sam and Rhodey introduce themselves to Pietro, doing their best to avoid Wanda who’s got Pietro in an odd hug. Pietro’s crying a little into her hair.

“You should stay for dinner.”

Tony blinks and turns to Steve, “Oh wow, thanks for the offer.” he deadpans, he does that a lot around Steve. “I love being asked what I want.”

Natasha snickers into Tony’s sleeve and Tony grins solely because he got a laugh out of Natasha.

“Will you stay for dinner?” rephrases Steve, blushing slightly.

“No, sorry, I’ve got a bunch of stuff with the company and-”

“C’mon, Stark,” Natasha’s smirking, she knows something, “Stay for dinner, we’re having tortellini.”

Rhodey’s shoulders drop, “Don’t tell him-”

“Rhodey, are you having store bought tortellini?! you f-” Tony’s cut off, in both his ranting and his attempts to attack Rhodey as Natasha laughs and pulls him out of the hangar and down the hallway, the Avengers following closely.

“Don’t be a big baby,” grins Natasha, “Come on, you can help me pick out an outfit, I think Clint is stealing my tank tops.”

“They make my biceps look great,” argues Clint, “And now you all know I wear Nat’s tank tops, shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, new chapter, I feel like I'm doing good I got out of that slump I was in earlier. Anyway, hope you like it, tell me what you think if you want to? Enjoy my shitty fic I guess.


	8. Walk, Walk, fashion baby (I'm not funny, I know this)

“So,”

Tony blinks, staring at Natasha, whilst stood in Natasha’s room. Where Natasha lives, and sleeps and does Natasha things. “So?”

“You and Pepper,”

Tony sighs, “I’m not doing this with you.” he grumbles, looking around the room that is nothing like he thought it would be.

The room is creamy warm colours and smells like the perfect blend of coffee and flowers. He takes a seat in one of the chairs, and stares pointedly at her, “Am I helping you with your outfit or not?”

Natasha rolls her eyes but marches to her closet and pulls the doors open.

“Do not touch those pants, I fucking see you.” snaps Tony instantly as Natasha moves for a pair of green pants, “I will actually cry if you put those on.”

Natasha smiles as she pushes past the green pants. “She told me about the break up.”

“That’s great, so is that tank top, right there-ew are those sequins? no wonder Clint’s stealing your tank tops the idiot has no taste.” hisses Tony.

Natasha tucked the tank top away, pulling out a pair of black pants. Tony nods his agreement, pulling out his phone to text ANGIE to tell Barnes that he’ll be late.

“And now Rhodes is finding you drunk crying,” hums Natasha, “any correlation?”

“No,” sighs Tony, “the beige top, grab that green one too.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow, holding the beige top to her body and then the green. They were both a really nice sheer material, a long v-neck type thing that suited Natasha.

“Beige,” nods Tony, “Grab that white tank top as well, wear that underneath.”

“That, however leaves the question ‘what were you crying about?’-” pushes Natasha, putting the green tank top back, “Gold?”

“I was crying over the state of the american economy,” stumbles Tony, “Uh, yeah, go with those black ballet shoes, where’s your jewelry?”

“Desk,” she grabs the ballet flats and drops them on her bed, Tony turned in his chair to the desk and reached clumsily for the jewelry box.. “You’re lying, Tony, what’s going on?”

“Well, Deez Nuts is running for president, which is something we should all be crying over.”

Natasha's arms crossed over her chest and Tony would’ve been able to feel that glare if he was on another planet, let alone with his back merely turned to her. “Tony,”

Tony’s sigh is tired as he picks out a few bangles and a pair of shimmery earrings. “I don’t remember these heart-to-hearts when we were on a team together.”

Natasha gives him a forced smile in return, “You didn’t give me enough evidence to worry about you when we were on a team together. You okay if I?”

“So you’re saying you just needed ‘evidence’ what, like me having a goddamn panic attack in front of you?” Tony nods, “Go ahead,”

He plays with the necklace while she changes outfits. She quickly poses for him and He nods his approval and hands her the jewelry.

“I’d already pushed into your life, I didn’t want to make an uneasy relationship worse.” she explains shortly, “Curly, or straight?”

“Straight.” he suggests, “And this isn’t pushing into my life?”

Natasha stops on her way to the en suite and looks at him, “This is me being comfortable with you enough to ask what’s the matter when I feel that something isn’t right.”

Tony’s not sure if she’s being honest but it sounds like she is. It’s a terrifying prospect. Even more terrifying? Natasha Romanoff, the one person Tony was at least 97 percent sure hated him was trying to make sure he was okay. She wouldn’t for long, he’d keep pushing and one day she’d relent, everyone did.

Bruce did.

Tony interrupts his own thoughts. “Nothing’s the matter, Pepper and I broke up, I had a mandatory ‘end of relationship’ breakdown and Rhodey was a good bro about it.”

“I know you’re lying,” she hums, plugging in the hair straightner and handing it to him. “It’s personal. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll tell you, at some point,” it’s an almost-empty promise, he might tell her, she’ll probably find out on her own.

Natasha watches him for a moment before wrapping her arms around him in a quick hug, “Promise?”

“Yeah,” mutters Tony, he likes Natasha’s hugs. She could kill him, but knowing she won’t makes them all the better. Although he’s also trying to hold the hair straightener away from her so it doesn’t burn either of them which is making the hug a little awkward.

“Okay, before I accidently burn you with the hair straightner.”

Natasha nods, pulling out of the hug before promptly ordering, “Straighten my hair with your heterosexual witchcraft.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how I feel about this chapter??? I just like writing chapters where Tony interacts singularly with another person. Also I wanted Nat in it. I like Nat. Anyway, this is the shortest chapter I've written so far I believe (maybe the Rhodey one was shorter I'm not sure).


	9. Fucking Reggie

It’s late when Tony gets home. The lights automatically turning on as he walks into the house. He considers calling and to alert Barnes that he’s home. He decides against it, Barnes was probably asleep. Instead, Tony kicks his shoes off, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it over the back of the sofa.

He takes a moment to breath, covering his face with his hands and just breathing.

That’s when he hears it.

At first he thinks it’s himself, the sound of his own breath. But it’s too ragged and panicked.

“Barnes?”

There’s no answer, and for a moment Tony doubts himself. Then there’s a crashing sound from the kitchen and Tony jumps towards the door.

“Barnes?”

Barnes is sitting on the floor, breathing heavily, like he just ran a marathon. There’s a cleaver in one hand and other cooking utensils are scattered across the floor.

“Hey man,” Tony carefully raises his hands, “What’s the problem?”

Barnes gasps for air, clutching the knife in his prosthetic hand. It doesn’t grip as tight as it should. Probably because it should be entirely replaced.

“Barnes,” Tony says softly, moving forwards slowly, “Barnes what’s the problem?”

“I-I-I” Barnes stutters, “I saw a-a-” he cuts himself off before dropping the knife and grabbing his hair.

Tony moves forwards slowly, gently pushing the knife away with his foot. “I’m gonna sit down okay?” Barnes doesn’t respond.

Tony sits down across from Barnes on the floor, “Breath, you need to slow your heart rate, calm yourself down. Breath.”

Barnes nods, slowly inhaling then exhaling. “C-Chest.” he mutters, tapping his chest with his finger.

“Got it.” nods Tony, his chest must hurt. Probably an anxiety attack, “That’ll wear off, I’m going to get you a glass of water okay? it’ll help.”

Barnes nods and Tony slowly gets up and gets Barnes his water. Making sure he doesn’t choke when he’s drinking it.

“You feel better?”

Barnes grunts, and Tony sits next to him. For a moment it’s quiet other than Barnes taking the odd chug of water.

“You okay?” mutters Tony finally.

Barnes nods, taking a deep breath. “I saw a-a girl.”

“I’d panic if I saw one of those too.”

“No.” mutters Barnes, staring at the floor, “I killed her.”

_Oh._

Oh God. Tony’s mouth is suddenly dry and he wipes his palms off on his pants. “Like she broke into the house o-?”

“Just a reflection on the window.” Explained Barnes softly, “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, we all have them.” Tony ignores the thought in the back of his head. People he couldn’t save, People he’d killed, people he’d gotten killed. He refuses to think of the Witch’s vision. “Have you eaten? you’ll feel better.”

Barnes shakes his head and Tony asks ANGIE to order chinese. The two of them almost silently move into the living room, sitting on the steel grey sofa. Tony wraps a blanket around his shoulders and sighs.

Barnes says and does nothing, falling into an eerie silence. So Tony does what he does best. He talks.

“Steve’s okay,” he mutters, “An asshole, but he’s okay. And Pietro got home to his sister so he’s good, he was ecstatic to see her. There was a lot of crying. All of it was me. Rhodey’s fine, he’s being a superhero and making friends and shit.”

Tony passes a side glance at Barnes before he lays across the sofa, settling his head next to Barnes’ thigh. He probably didn’t want to be touched right now.

“And uh-Tasha’s good, thinks I’m straight. Which is a gross thought. Can you imagine straight me? look at me, I wore eyeliner for twenty one years. I have done so much gay stuff, Rhodey knows. I’ve told Rhodey everything he’s pretty rad though. You’d like him, he’s funny. He makes great smoothies.”

Barnes doesn’t say anything so Tony doesn’t stop, babbling on about Pepper and Clint and Sam. Then Dum-E then how he built Dum-E, then his drug addiction in college, then his hot drug dealer Donnie from college who was about 80% the only reason Tony ever even bought drugs.

“I mean, I wasn’t doing like Meth-okay, I did it once but that was ages ago.” hums Tony, “Rhodey yelled at me after and Pepper made me go to Rehab for three months. I wasn’t really angry about it or anything, they just didn’t want to have a drug addicted 20 year old on their hands.”

When the food arrives Tony eats most of it but Barnes eats, at least. Tony stops talking at some point and he just turns on the tv. He and Barnes fall asleep crying over Bruce Wayne because fucking Reggie, how dare he touch Alfred. Fuck Reggie.

* * *

 

Pepper remembers when walking into the Malibu house didn’t feel so awkward. When it was natural and she just let herself into the house.

She stops before she unlocks the door. A voice that isn’t JARVIS or FRIDAY greets her and introduces itself as ANGIE.

“Yes, I’m just here to grab some things, I’ll be quick, don’t alert Tony.” He’s probably asleep anyway and honestly, Pepper just came to get the last of her things, The CDs she had in a box in the closet.

She sighs, heading for the kitchen. She needed something to eat and Tony probably hadn’t eaten yet. There’s two routes to get to the kitchen, through the library and then the Rec Room, or through the Living Room. The Living Room route is shortest and straight ahead so Pepper takes that route. She stops, staring at the sofa.

“Okay, I can totally explain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very tired (yet again) and I swear I have actual reasons for not updating. I had no internet for two weeks, first of all, and secondly, I moved! fuck yeah, go me, I have a new bed and everything fucking rad as hell. I also saw the Martian and every single one of you should go see it now that movie is the bomb. Anyway, sorry for not updating recently, I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)


	10. Cuddle Time Ruiner

“Are you serious?!”

“Dead serious.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“That’s what dead means.”

“Barnes, get me a knife.”

James blinks, looking between Tony and Pepper in confusion. “I-I don’t,”

“Don’t listen to her, she’s evil.” Tony grumbles, wrapping himself in his blanket.

, “I’m not evil. You have the winter soldier curled up on your sofa.”

Three and a half months, she’d been gone three and a half fucking months. How the hell did he manage this shit in three and a half months?

“I had him curled up on my sofa, and then you, miss mood killer, ruined cuddle time.” retorts Tony, pointing at her accusingly.

Pepper pushed his hand out of her face, “And what does Steve have to say about this?”

Pepper watches Tony frown, his eyes look away from her and the way Barnes seemed to flinch a little at the mere mention of Steve.

“You didn’t,” she hissed. “You didn’t tell him?”

“Barnes asked me not to.” he whispered.

Peppers sigh is soft, it made sense. Tony would do anything for anybody if they just asked him. He was like that. She felt her shoulders go slack.

“Oh, Tony.”

Tony didn’t respond, staring at the floor.

“He’ll find out, you both know that don’t you?”

Their nods were slow and sad, Pepper dropped her purse onto the chair. “Here’s what’s going to happen-shut up, both of you.” Pepper knew her glare was powerful, Tony shut up, curling up more into his blanket and looking away from them. James, however, glared at her.

“When Steve finds out you're here he’ll be pissed. Not ‘you ate my doughnut’ pissed, but Steve Rogers pissed. Are either of you ready to deal with that?”

The silence answered for them.

“Shit.” Pepper fell into the chair, watching them both stare at anything except her, “And what are you doing mental health wise, let me guess neither of you are seeing a therapist right?”

“I don’t need a stupid therapist.” Tony hisses, “I’m fine.”

Pepper snaps, “Tony, you’re very obviously not fine, you haven’t been fine since before I met you.”

“I’m-”

“You’re borderline suicidal, you’re depressed, you’re an anxiety riddled mess, Tony. You need to start taking care of yourself. I know you hate hearing it but I hate seeing you literally tear yourself apart.”

It’s all the things she’s wanted to yell at him for years. When she and Rhodey first had to sit in the ER waiting room for seven hours while Tony got his stomach pumped. When he’d gotten in that car crash years ago because he was so fucking drunk. After Afghanistan when she really thought he was going to get better and he didn’t.

He didn’t think he was but he kept trying to hurt himself. Hiding it behind the idea that he was saving others. Self sacrificing idiot he was.

Tony was glaring at the ground now, making sure not to look at them.

“I’m sorry,” Pepper ran her fingers along the fabric of her jacket, “That wasn’t-Tony, you need to take care of yourself. I know you don’t think you deserve it-ah” her hand shot up to stop Tony from cutting in. “You’ve told me before that you think you don’t deserve it Tony but you do, everyone deserves to take care of themselves.”

Tony hid his face inside the blankets as Pepper gathered her things. “Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you Mr Barnes,” she held out her hand for him to shake.

He stared at her hand in mild confusion before shaking it. Pepper placed some papers on the coffee table before she began to gather her CDs, then a few of her books from the shelves along the living room walls.

It’s eerily silent the entire time, the sound of her heels hitting the floor and her shuffling things around as the only sound in the room.

When she’s finished gathering her things, she tucks them away in her bag before she heads for the door.

“Tony,” she prays he listens to her for once in his stupid damn life, “Please go see Mandy.”

Tony says nothing so Pepper leaves with a nod to Barnes.

* * *

 

Tony shoves the blankets off himself as soon as he hears the front door shut. He doesn’t glance in Barnes’ direction, instead heading straight for tha bar.

“Stark-”

Tony ignores Barnes, grabbing at random bottles angrily. His hands decide on a whiskey and vodka. He doesn’t care what it is, it’ll get the job done.

He rips off the lid of the bottle before he begins to chug.

Smash.

Tony blinks, looking at his empty hands and then the smashed bottle on the wall.

“What,” he turns to Barnes, “The fuck?”

“Not good.” grumbles Barnes.

Tony glares at him, “That’s the fucking point, asshole.”

He grabs the next bottle and begins to chug that.

Barnes grabs it and dumps the alcohol on the ground in front of Tony’s goddamn eyes.

“Not. Good.” hisses Barnes.

“I don’t care if it’s not good,” hisses Tony, “Don’t touch my alcohol.”

Barnes grabs a bottle of something and whips it at the wall. They both watch it shatter and the beverage begins to stain the carpet.

“Barne-”

Barnes grabs another bottle and whips it.

“Stop throwing-”

He does it again.

“I’ll kill you-”

And again.

“Fucking-”

Again.

“I said stop!”

Barnes stops, looking between Tony and the bottle. He gently places it on the bar.

“Fucking, stop.” Tony huffs, breathing heavily.

Barnes nods, “Not good.” he repeats.

“What’s not good?”

Barnes frown deepened, as it usually did. The guy was almost always frowning.

“I-” he frowns at the ground before looking at Tony like he’s figured it out, “You.”

“Yeah, thanks, Barnes. I know I’m not a good person, thank you for rubbing it in.” snaps Tony. Grabbing the bottle Barnes was previously about to throw.

“No.” insists Barnes. It’s like this sometimes. Barnes can’t string full sentences sometimes, his english broken and cut off. It’s not often but sometimes his brain short circuits and he can’t remember how to say what he wants. It seems to turn itself on and off at random. “You are not good.”

Tony frowns, taking a swig of what turned out to be tequila. “Thank you, asshole, yet again.”

Barnes groans angrily, “No.” he snaps, frustrated, “You not good.” he gestures to his head.

Oh.

You know that feeling when a 95 year old sociopathic brainwashed assassin tells you that you’re not mentally stable?

Not a good feeling. Not a good feeling at all. It feels like you’ve just been told every flaw by someone you hate. But it’s not you’re every flaw, it’s a part of you as a person and it’s from someone you give two shits about and it fucking sucks.

Barnes looks panicked when Tony sniffles like a goddamn child.

“Stark?”

“‘m fine.” Tony hisses, “‘m fine.”

He’s not, he’s severely not fine. Not at all, everything sucks. Fuck.

Instead of saying anything Barnes leaves the room. Tony breathes, trying to remember what breathing is. Barnes reemerges, a glass of water in one hand. He not-so-gently moves Tony to sit away from the mess of shattered glass and alcohol. He hands Tony the glass of water.

Tony blinks, staring at the glass before he begins to sniffle. Fuck, he was gonna cry. To be polite Tony drinks the water. Then Barnes starts talking.

“I don’t remember much,” Tony stops drinking to watch him. “I remember our old apartment. It was small. We had to share the bed when it was cold. He was tiny he would have died.” Tony assumed he meant Steve. A safe assumption he thought, he’d seen photos of Steve before the serum. “And he had drawings everywhere.”

For once, Tony’s content to sit around and listen to Barnes talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm p sure this is the longest chapter. But anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter. Once again, I'm tired af, which seems to be the only occasion on which I post these.


	11. Therapy Session

“You know, you could look at me.”

Tony huffs under his breath, looking up at Mandy. She’d been his therapist for years, since before Afghanistan. Granted he’d stopped seeing her for periods of a time, but she was someone who knew about his family life and his childhood. If anyone wanted to get to Tony they’d have to get Mandy.

Which is why Mandy has bodyguards at all times and has a tracker implanted behind her left ear.

“How have you been since we spoke last?” she hums, brushing her dark, thick hair out of her face. “We haven’t spoken since last christmas was it?”

“About then.” agrees Tony. “I’ve been fine.”

“Tony, your definition of fine and everyone else’s definition of fine is very different.” smiles Mandy.

Tony sighs. “I don’t know, I’m okay?”

Mandy’s raised eyebrow says she doesn’t believe him for a second.

“I’m tired,” he mutters, “I want to sleep and I’ve fucked up-again!”

“You mean with Mr Barnes?”

Tony glares at her.

“I’m contractually obligated not to say anything.” she hums, “Even if Captain America came knocking on my door, I wouldn’t tell him jack. Come on Tony, we’ve played this game before. Let’s get to the part where you tell me what’s wrong, and I give you wise advice.”

There’s a long few minutes of silence before Tony speaks up. “What should I do about Barnes?”

Mandy shrugs, “Depends, what do you think you should do?”

Tony scratches his neck, shrugging. “I dunno, tell Steve, I guess.”

“So why don’t you?” she asks.

Tony opens his mouth, then closes it, he knows why. James deserves the peace he has right now. He doesn’t want to see Steve and that’s okay and Tony just wants to give him that. But, there’s another reason.

“Steve’ll get angry.” he mutters.

Mandy nods in understanding, “And you think if he gets angry-”

“He’ll take Barnes.” answers Tony.

“Ah,” Mandy frowns, “You don’t want to be alone.”

Tony frowns, scratching his wrist, “I-I dunno, I guess?”

Mandy nods, “Do you want to be alone?”

Tony shakes his head.

“Do you know why?”

Tony thinks, then nods.

“Would you like to tell me?”

She isn’t mocking him or being sarcastic, Mandy’s genuine. She always has been.

“I used to be okay with being alone, I guess? I mean, after Jarvis and Anna died I was alone a lot. Then there was these people, all the time, there was Clint and Steve, and Natasha and they were always there and we lived in the same building and I got used to having them around and now they’re gone.” Tony has no idea if he makes any sense whatsoever. But Mandy nods so he assumes she understands. “I just-I had them and I fucked up and now they’re gone and I shouldn’t have gotten attached in the first place.”

Mandy looks at her notepad before setting it on her desk. “So, your question is,” she pauses and Tony thinks for a long minute, scuffing his feet on the carpet like a fucking child.

“Do I help Barnes, or do I tell Steve?” mutters Tony.

Mandy shrugs, “What if telling Steve ultimately helps Barnes?”

“What if it makes Barnes worse?”

Mandy nods in agreement. “I think,” she paused, like she was trying to phrase her thoughts correctly. “That Rogers can fuck himself. If you really think Barnes should be away from him and Barnes _wants_ to be away. Then by all means, don’t tell Rogers. But be prepared because he will find out and you will have to deal with the consequences of those actions. Steve will see it as an act of betrayal, not of loyalty.”

Tony takes a moment to admire Mandy Morita and how incredible she is. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she grins, “Anything for family. Don’t tell pops I said Captain America can fuck himself.”

Tony smiles, “If Barnes agreed to a therapist-”

“Send him my way, I have a list of names-all trustworthy, you and Pepper can review them if you want.”

“Could he see you? you’re good especially after-” he frowns, trying to figure out what he wants to say.

“After torturous events? yeah, so you’ve told me. It’s cause ‘a you lot-you hear about Sharon?”

Tony grins, “What’d she do?”

“She nearly got it on with Captain Rogers.”

Tony leaves Mandy’s office in tears because Sharon was so dead if he told Uncle Dougan.

* * *

 

As soon as Tony gets home Barnes is stood in front of him. Looking terrified.

"Did you tell him?" snaps Barnes.

Tony frowns, "What?"

"Did you tell Steve?" 

Tony frowns, "No dude, if I was going to tell him I would've by now." 

Barnes manages to look relieved.

Tony sighs, "Steve can fuck himself. I'll tell him when you tell me to." he decides.

Barnes nods, slowly walking away. "Thank you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, for those of you who don't know, (not trying to be superior, some people just genuinely don't know off the top of their head and I don't wanna be rude and leave em out) Jim Morita and DumDum Dougan are members of the Howling Commandos, and Sharon is in reference to Sharon Carter from Cap 2. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, school's started and I'm in a permanent state of exhaustion. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, night :)


	12. Latte's

James doesn’t trust Mandy. He knows her relations and her connections to his past and he knows he should be able to trust her, he-Bucky had trusted her father.

But he didn’t trust her.

Mandy leans back in her plush arm chair, “Are you thirsty?”

He shakes his head. Poison’s are likely, women are statistically more likely to poison. She nods, pouring herself a cup from the jug and taking a sip. Not poisoned, he decided.

They sit in the silence for a few minutes before she starts to speak. “Tony’s told me that you’ve been having some trouble when it comes to updating your arm.” she murmurs.

Tony had tried to replace James’ arm. They’d both left the situation bruised and grumpy. James wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, one minute he was fine and the next he had Tony in a headlock while ANGIE was warning him that multiple firearms were aiming at him.

He’d left without a word and Tony never brought it up.

“It’s natural.” she tells him, “A lot of soldiers return from war and certain things just aren’t okay with them.”

“Not that.”

She raised an eyebrow, “What is it?”

James thinks, staring at his arm. “Them.”

Mandy doesn’t seem to understand at first then nods. “Hydra?”

“They would repair it.” James mutters, “Then hurt.”

She nods in understanding, “They’d hurt you for breaking it in the first place?” she clarifies.

James gives her a short nod of confirmation. Mandy thinks for a long minute, “Work with Tony to redesign it.” she decides, “It will give you more control of what’s going on around you. I also, don’t think it would hurt, if you picked up a few things.”

James didn’t understand. He picked up things all the time. Why would she think he didn’t?

“I mean, hobbies, not items.” she smiles, “Find a book series, a movie, a band, even, you could always help Tony in his workshop. Find something to help you integrate better. It’l give you something outside of Hydra, and your past. Something yours.”

“Did Tony have something?”

She grins, “What do you think that tacky iron suit of his is?”

* * *

 

After the appointment James leaves with Pepper, after a long nine and a half minute conversation between Pepper and Mandy about ‘going for dinner, it’s been too long’. Pepper barely looks at James as they leave the building and head for the car.

“Are you hungry?” asks Pepper stiffly.

James nods.

“Good, I’m starving, I had this stupid board meeting with a bunch of idiots. One of them looked up my skirt.” she hisses, “You’d think after so many years working for this goddamn company they’d have some respect for me.”

James nods in agreement as she starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.

“And if I do anything about it, I’ll be seen as over dramatic, which is bullshit.” she rants, “They all work for me you’d think they’d understand that I’m not a secretary anymore.”

“I can kill them.” offers James.

Pepper snickers, “As sweet as the proposition is, I need them for the company to run.”

James frowns, as Pepper just smiles. He hasn’t seen her smile before. He remembers a lot of people smiling around him once. A lot of girls would smile at him, Bucky’d done his best to get his sisters to smile. James deftly wondered if any of them were alive.

Pepper parks outside of a small black building. “Come on, I want a muffin.”

Bucky follows her inside, it’s warm and it smells like Tony’s morning coffee. Pepper’s shoulders loosen a little as they enter. “What do you want?” she asks as they step in line.

Bucky has no idea what anything on the board is, so he shrugs.

“Okay, do you like the coffee Tony makes?” she questions.

“No.” It’s too strong and bitter.

She nods, “Okay, and you’re not a big fan of sugary things.” she hums to herself, “How do you feel about whipped cream?”

James shrugs, unsure of what the hell whipped cream is. Pepper grins as they reach the counter and she places their orders. They wait a few minutes where Pepper types on her phone rapidly before tucking it away in her purse.

“Okay, this one is yours,” she tells him, handing him a hot cup, “And I got us some food for lunch-we can eat it when we get back to the house.”

James nods, frowning at his cup. “What is it?”

His mind runs through a list of poisons and anything that could be in here and what poisons no longer work on him.

“It’s a latte, let it cool or you’ll burn your tongue and that'll ruin the entire experience.”

James nods, and they take a seat in a booth. Pepper hands him a sandwich that’s neatly made while she begins to gently pull apart her croissant.

“Okay, try your latte.”

James thinks it’s weird how invested she is in his latte. He eyes the latte carefully before he sips it.

“Holy shit.” he whispers and Pepper grins. “Oh my god.”

He isn’t sure what it is about the latte but it’s warm in his hands and a perfect balance of sweet and milky.

Pepper whips out her phone and aims it at him, “Okay, hold still.”

James does as told but he still sips the latte because it’s more important that whatever she’s doing.

Then Pepper stops smiling and James frowns. He watches Pepper’s face fall as she stares at her phone.

“Shit,” she mutters, grabbing her purse and her meal, she barely stops to turn to James. “He knows.”

James feels something heavy drop into his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! get wrekt.


	13. Lunch

Tony hums along to the sounds of David Bowie, as he pulls out the insides of an old Iron Man suit. He’s still unsure of his plan for this one. Possibly an underwater suit, he doesn’t have nearly enough of those.

His mind is focused on the suit as he pulls it apart with a familiarity only he has. He barely notices the music stop, he’s so consumed in his own world.

“You have a call from Agent Romanoff, Sir.” says ANGIE.

Tony nods, “Go ahead,” He waits a moment as the call is answered before grinning, “You know you interrupted David Bowie, right?”

“Is Barnes there?” snaps Natasha.

Tony blinks, pulling his hands from the suit. “What?”

“Barnes, Is he with you?” she hisses.

“No.” it isn’t a lie. He feels his heart pound violently in his chest, “Why?”

“Steve’s on his way.” she warns, “Pietro and Rhodey are trying to stop him but we’ll be there in less than an hour.”

Tony’s barely aware as he falls onto a stool, “Shit,”

“He’s staying with you isn’t he?”

Tony says nothing but Natasha swears into the phone, “I’ll try and hold him off as long as I can,” she says, “I’ll call you when we’re ten minutes out.”

“Okay,” Tony croaks.

Natasha hangs up and Tondy can’t breath. He’d fucked up, he’d fucked up so bad. Steve was going to kill him and Barnes was never going to trust him again. Shit. Barnes was with Pepper.

“Text Pepper, tell her what’s going on.” he orders ANGIE.

He stumbles out of the workshop, gently pushing Dum-E and Butterfingers out of his way. “Notify me when they get on the grounds.”

“Pepper or the Avengers?” asks ANGIE.

“Both.”

Tony passes the bar, being drunk would make things a lot worse. That doesn’t stop his hands from itching to crack open a bottle. He paces for a few minutes, tries breathing exercises for about fifteen minutes before giving into the pure panic.

“Pepper and Barnes have arrived on the grounds.” informs ANGIE.

Tony doesn’t move from where he’s laying on the kitchen floor. He waits as he hears the front doors open and then the sound of Pepper’s high heels and James’ boots.

“How long?” snaps Pepper.

“Half hour,” mutters Tony, “Give or take, Natasha’s buying us time.”

“Rhodey will help,” adds Pepper,

Tony nods, slowly sitting up. James is watching them both, he’s pale and probably as shaky as Tony is.

“You don’t have to stay you know,” mutters Tony, “We’ve got a bunch of other buildings you can stay.”

James looks like he’s thinking for a long time before he speaks up, “Mandy thinks I should help you make arm.” he leaves out a few words but they’re both panicking so Tony doesn’t point it out. “Give control.”

Tony nods, “So what’s the game plan?”

Pepper and James share a glance. Then Pepper holds out a cup and a paper bag. “Lunch.”

They sit and eat and wait for Steve to arrive. It’s near silent and as the minutes tick by Tony feels sicker. He notices James’ movements slow as well. Pepper, however, eats and waits patiently, “What should we get for dinner?”

Tony shrugs, “Dunno if they’ll be staying.”

“Chinese,” grumbles James, “Rice.”

Pepper nods, “We get too much we can have leftovers,” she agrees.

Tony grunts. “Fair enough.”

“Agent Romanoff is calling sir.” announces ANGIE.

Tony stiffens, “Answer.”

“We’re close, sorry, couldn’t hold him off. We tried.” says Natasha softly.

“No problem.” mutters Tony, “See you in a bit.”

Natasha hangs up with no more words. The three of them begin to tidy the kitchen quietly. “You two should go upstairs, Steve’s angry at me, I’ll deal with him.”

James snorts and Pepper crosses her arms, “Because that’ll end well.” she grumbles.

“Hey, having one lunch together doesn’t make you two besties.” grins Tony, “I’ll try to cool him down, just, I need a few minutes okay?”

“They’ve arrived, Sir.”

Pepper and James both frown, “Come on,” mutters Pepper, “Let’s find you some hobbies.”

James and Pepper head upstairs in silence and Tony watches them before turning to the doors just at they storm in.

“Where the fuck is he?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bad at writing arguments guys jfc I'm not ready to write this


	14. Let's not even talk about this one okay?

Natasha doesn’t like a lot of things, the very first thing on that list is not being in control. She has no control in this situation, dashing after Steve into Tony’s house. She’s not sure what she’s hoping to do, but Rhodey and Sam follow quickly and Pietro looks like he’s about to dash ahead of them if Wanda wasn’t clutching his arm.

“Steve-”

“Where the fuck is he?!” Steve roars.

Natasha snaps the hand she hadn’t realised was reaching for him back to her side, her eyes turning on Tony who’s stood on the opposite side of the kitchen, he’s twisting his fingers and looks up at them absolutely terrified.

“Steve-” Natasha tries again.

“Where’s Bucky, Stark, where the hell is he?” snaps Steve, stalking closer to the kitchen, Natasha and Rhodey follow, both ready to act.

“Calm down.” mutters Tony, carefully stepping forward.

Steve moves too quickly for either Natasha’s or Rhodey’s liking and they both move forward as he does, ready to interfere.

“Don’t tell me to calm down Stark, where the fuck is Bucky?” hisses Steve.

Natasha glances at Tony who looks terrified, she’s never really seen him as scared as he is right now. He’s never this open with his expressions but now? Now, Tony’s jaw is moving in a way and his shoulders are hunched and he looks more like Bruce than Tony.. “Calm down.” he repeats.

Steve lunges, he’s too strong and too quick for Natasha or Rhodey to stop him in time and he’s got Tony by the collar of his shirt across the kitchen table.

“Where the fuck is Bucky?” snaps Steve.

Tony says nothing, watching Steve for a long minute before muttering, “Calm down, Steve.”

Steve throws him to the other side of the kitchen like a rag doll. Natasha’s muscles instantly go rigid  and she’s throwing herself over the kitchen island to check Tony for bleeding , she misses the exact second Rhodey smashes Steve’s face with a frying pan.

There’s a long minute of silence after Rhodey hits Steve with the pan. Everyone wrapping their brains around what happened. Natasha knows when Rhodey understands what he did because his grip tightens on the frying pan and he’s more than ready to hit Steve with it again.

Natasha speaks first, “Are you okay?” she mutters.

“‘M fine,” his voice is groggy, “just bruised.”

“Steve isn’t.” mutters Clint. Natasha turns, Steve’s lifted his face to show a bloody nose. Rhodey says nothing, just stares him down like Steve’s another one of the Hydra agents Rhodey could take in his sleep.

Natasha gently checks Tony’s head for blood.

“Mr Stark,” the AI says gently, “We have a problem.”

Tony blinks, “What kind?”

“He’s on the roof again, sir.”

Natasha frowns, “I-what?”

Tony doesn’t answer her, pulling himself to his feet, “Fucking Christ, come on Steve, come see why you weren’t invited to this shit show.” he mutters, stumbling ahead of them.

“Tony, you were just-”

Tony cuts Rhodey off with a wave of his hand, “I’m fine, Buttercup.”

Rhodey frowns, glaring at Steve and following closely behind Tony. Natasha follows them, only because she isn’t sure that Steve will catch Tony if he trips, and Rhodey needs backup just in case.

The others disperse leaving them to go out onto the balcony, where Pepper is already standing, one hand on her hip the other shading her eyes from the sun, staring up at the roof.

“How long?” mutters Tony, standing by her side.

Natasha looks up, following their line of sight and finds what appears to be the back of the Winter Soldier facing them.

“Seven minutes, he’s panicking, Angie has him monitored.” she answers.

“Ten out of ten, Pep.” mutters Tony, he looks at Steve, “There’s Bucky.”

Steve glares at him, but Tony doesn’t seem to care as he turns and cups his hands around his mouth, “James!”

There’s a moment where nothing happens and Natasha looks to Rhodey who just shrugs. Then the Winter Soldier turns to glare at them. Natasha can see Steve stiffen but Tony Looks sympathetic.

“You need anything?!” Tony yells.

There’s another moment before the Winter Soldier shakes his head.

“I’m gonna order chinese I’ll call you when it’s here okay?!”

The Winter Soldier nods and turns away from them. Natasha raises an eyebrow at Tony.

“Can’t force him to come down, we tried once. It ended in tears. Mine.” he grumbles, “Just gotta wait him out.”

Tony then opens his arms, Rhodey rolls his eyes but carefully lifts Tony in a bridal carry and takes him inside.

Natasha, Steve and Pepper stand there. Natasha doesn’t know why but she feels like she’s intruding on something.

Pepper doesn’t even look at Steve, her eyes are focused on the door, like she has more important things to deal with. It’s something Pepper’s probably mastered over the years.

“I saw what you did to Tony,” she says slowly, “You ever think about hurting Tony like that again, and you won’t walk away from it unharmed.”

Steve doesn’t look like he believes her and Natasha doesn’t blame him, Pepper’s not one to get her hands dirty. The worst possibility is a mercenary and Steve can take those in his sleep.

“By that I mean, the next time you hurt Tony, I won’t stop James from going in there and kicking the living shit out of you.” she says smoothly, she finally looks at Steve and Natasha has never seen a look of pure fire in anyone's eyes and for a moment she’s sure Pepper’s eyes are bright orange. “Just a warning.”

The clicks of Pepper’s heels on the concrete somehow make the threat even more daunting as she heads inside.

“That woman is deadly.” mutters Steve.

“I know.” Natasha’s glaring at Steve.

Steve frowns, staring at the ground. “You fucked up,” she snaps, “You care about Bucky, alright, I get that, I can get behind that, but if you’re going to hurt our friends because of that. You’re on your own, Steve.”

She leaves Steve alone on the porch. She knows how guilty he must feel and she knows her words made it worse. She knows and she’s okay with that. For a long moment she stands at the door and looks inside, at how separated everyone is. Tony, Rhodey and Pepper are huddled in the kitchen muttering to each other and sharing soft smiles. Sam, Clint, Vision, Wanda and Pietro are collected in the living room.

Natasha remembers the few months when the Avengers were strong, and a family. She remembers how easily they had worked together and laughed together. She remembers how easily it had fallen apart. How much she would give to get it back, but that was wishful thinking, it was gone. She couldn't fix it, she shouldn't cry over it. Natasha goes to sit with Clint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter, I don't want to post it or talk about it. I'm sorry it's not as long as I wanted it to be but I also didn't want to drag it on, y'know? anyway I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever, my life is a literal whirlpool of pure anger, but I'm hoping to write another chapter this week as I'm on March Break.   
> PB

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this headcannon that Tony changes FRIDAY for a brand new AI and my friend suggested Angie from Agent Carter and I cried a bit when she came up with the idea. Anyway, I'm half asleep (again! surprise, surprise) but, you know, tell me what you think and stuff, I'd really appreciate it :)


End file.
